Sunday

We went to church today. As is our routine, Moo went to his kid's experience and Baby J and I went to worship and sing together. I take him to his group after we sing together. He raises his hands in worship and cuddles into me. It is an amazing bonding experience we share every Sunday.

The worship experience today was raw. The singing was amazing. Many tears were shed. My sadness ebbed and flowed. My hope ebbed and flowed. I poured my prayers to Jesus. They were direct and honest and raw.

I came home exhausted. I napped and could have slept all day. But, a Super Bowl party called our names.

I spoke with his CASA worker tonight. It was a promising conversation.

We are holding on for the roller coaster ride that is foster care. But, J is worth this ride. He is worth the sadness and anger and feeling of powerlessness. He is worth the hope and the tears and the unknowns. He is worth the sleepless nights and the anxiety and fear.

This is in God's hands.